Ethics
for Life Coaching: Avoiding "Savior" Behavior!
by Dr. Lora Hurley, Traditional
Naturopath
*
Reprinted by permission - Community Spirit Magazine, Jun./Jul
2003.
What is
the profile of a “Life Coach?” A “Life Coach”
is someone who has chosen to assist others with their journey
of Structural, chemical (Nutritional) or Psychological health.
Before detailing characteristics of this honorable position,
let us discuss human behavior. We, as humans, are unique but
we share some basic needs. We need food, shelter, love, and
all respond to the sense of touch. Touching someone’s
hand or heart can inspire that person to journey forward one
more day when they were ready to throw it all away.
Anyone
could be a “Life-Coach.” We all can spare a few
moments of even the busiest day to smile or say, “Hi,”
to someone we pass at he super-market. That irritable coworker
may change their demeanor when you do this. Can a hair stylist
be a “Life Coach?” the answer is a resounding, “YES.”
Perhaps the person that visited the stylist has no one to love
or touch in his or her life. Can you envision the desire to
be loved and touched that they may crave? Smiling and talking
to this person can be simple gestures that may inspire this
person to “Be all that they can be.” Washing, drying,
and styling their hair provides them with a few short moments
of feeling that someone cares how they feel. Most stylists develop
an intimate relationship with their clients due to the time
spent with them.
One who
accepts the challenge to help another should understand that
there is a tremendous amount of responsibility involved if you
are giving advice. Do not ever allow another to obligate you
to help them when your intuition tells you that a relationship
with them may not be safe or may be compromising. Sometimes
the one you are desperately trying to help does not want help
or may not be willing to accept the role they must play in their
own healing. Sometimes they will sabotage their own recovery.
Truthfully you will not be able to help everyone, but you can
be willing to try. One’s intentions must be sincere. First
and Foremost: “One must do no harm.” Secondly, One
must not indulge in “Savior Behavior;” meaning they
will not cauterize wounds, whether they are of Physical, Structural,
or Spiritual nature. Sometimes to get to the fresh, new, growing
body, you have to pick, pry, and peel the layers of diseased
sheathing of those in need until you have assisted the whole
person to desire life.
Savior
Behavior can be “used and abused” by all caretakers.
You would probably recognize it in an analogy: Someone may say,
“My head hurts.” A medical doctor would probably
say, “Aspirin will help.” (Symptom relief) A Naturopath,
might say, “White Willow may help.” If you or I
responded with this suggestion due to the lack of time or dedication
to the healing process, we would sub-consciously or maybe even
consciously be ignoring our responsibility as health care providers
and educators. In addition, treating symptoms can be construed
as “Practicing Medicine” which is illegal for all
caretakers other than traditional orthodox medical physicians.
For this reason, one must never-ever treat symptoms or disease!
I treat people! If I treat the body with all its many systems
and the person’s complaints go away, I did not “CURE”
their disease. “NATURE did.” I simply assisted the
structure of their body so that it could function optimally.
In truth,
the correct response tot he preceding headache scenario should
be, “Tell me everything that you can concerning your headache.
How often does it hurt? Where does it hurt? Does bright light
make you ‘feel’ worse? Do you feel nauseated when
it hurts? Is there something else you would like or need to
tell me?” When you begin to inquire about he initial complaint
of a “headache,” you may find many additional complaints
that will guide you to properly assessing and assisting the
person with the “REAL” reason their head hurts.
“Is it possible that something like food allergies, magnesium
deficiency, constipation, dehydration, etc. could be the culprit?
What about spinal misalignment? What about a broken heart? What
about a broken Spirit?” To clarify, if you or I fixed
all the symptoms of the initial complaint and left it at that,
the complainer would leave us with the belief that we had “saved”
them from their symptom while their festering wounds would continue
to swell. Neither you, nor I deserve the credit for their healing.
Our “Popularity and prosperity” should not stand
in the way of their healing, nor should it be our driving cause
to help them!
For a “Life
coach” to truly help another, they must help themselves
first. We have our own scars to rip back and as we do, so shall
we heal. We must view other’s opinions and complaints
with an open-mind and a loving heart. We need to listen to all
the information given to us before making social, spiritual,
physical, mental, and emotional responses for the sake of all.
We must learn to see with lighted eyes to develop objective
views. Our gift to those we are coaching should be to assist
them to heal their body, mind, and soul! We should be willing
to lend an ear and a warm-hearted view. We must be “true”
to ourselves to be a “true” friend. We will not
be trusted if we are not trustworthy and that does not come
automatically with your chosen or earned title of “Life
coach.” Many people need help peeling and healing scars
and guidance through the storms. Only after knowing the whole
story can we coach others or refer them to another when their
need is beyond our scope of expertise. Everyone has his/her
own reason for wanting to b a life coach. We all are human and
desire to be ‘REMEMBERED’ for something when the
time comes to cast off this shell we call a body. Ask yourself
with it is you want others to remember about you? I can honestly
say that I would like to be thought of as a “Healer who
LOVED her clients!”
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Dr. Lora
Hurley is a traditional Naturopath and founder of Harmony Holistic
Health of Locust, NC. She has spoken through many media outlets
and lectures regularly. Her clientele spans internationally. Her
husband Doyle and their 2 children own and operate the Herb Basket.
Doyle established the Celtic Frost Herb Farm in 1996 – ethically
all herbs are organically grown. Harmony Holistic health, the
herb Basket and Celtic Frost Herbs are located at 217 B West Main
Street, Locust NC 28097 or call 704-888-4118. 
